Have you ever watched a flower bloom?
It mostly happens when we aren’t looking. It happens over time. One day there is a blossom that appears. The next day the blossom is bigger. And when that blossom comes into fruition depends upon what type of flower it is, where it is in relationship to the sun, what the soil is like that it’s growing in, what is growing beside it, and how much water it needs and how much it’s receiving. Some blossoms come out quickly and others seem to wait, like a pause or a rest in music. Those pauses can cause your breath to catch and wait, in anticipation of the coming beauty. When the flower blooms it happens without the flower trying to do it. It just happens. Can you imagine your life if you could allow yourself to bloom naturally, easily and gracefully, but usually we are in too much of a hurry to notice much of anything.
I spent much of my life working hard, trying to be better and better. I grew from the soil I was seeded in. In that soil I learned that hard work is what is necessary and because I didn’t feel good enough, I worked harder and harder to get better, to feel good enough. This was my family soil; the belief my family instilled in each of us. Hard work is what we need to do. And true enough, we do have to put effort into our work, our art, our families, but there is something that happens when we try too hard and work too hard; we can unwittingly invoke the Law of Reverse Effect. We get tense, we get exhausted, we get stressed to the point that instead of getting better and better, the results we are trying to achieve elude us more and more. Some of us work so hard and get so stressed we can make ourselves physically sick.
Daoism teaches us about achieving more, by doing less, it is called effortless action. I have pondered that one for years. How do I do less to accomplish more? How can that possibly work? I’ve come to some deepening realizations about this. We think we must add but really, we have to subtract. What does that actually mean in daily life? We tend to add stress and worry to our work as if that will motivate us or help us to remember more or somehow get more done. What if like a blossom, a lot of what we are trying to make happen would happen more organically, more naturally, more easily, if we allowed it to arise naturally, without so much impatience and resistance; without so much self-criticism and harsh judgements towards ourselves. What if what makes life harder than it needs to be is our attitude towards ourselves? How do we stop trying so hard when we want something so badly. A client of mine is an amazing musician. He wants to be a great performer so badly that he creates tons of anxiety and tension to the point he underperforms. He triggers the Law of Reverse Effect, and he plays below what he knows he is capable of. This then triggers a spiral into self-criticism, damaging self-worth, sapping vital energy which then stifles creativity, flow and the connection to our inner wisdom, our true self. The moment we stress and struggle we are entering a state of resistance and strengthens our protective processes instead of allowing our openness to our whole hearts, souls, spirits and mind; our inner wisdom that allows everything to flow.
Our minds can seem like an enemy at times, but it is just trying to keep us safe. It will always try to direct you to where it perceives is safer. In other words, to the more familiar patterns in your life that keep you doing the same things in the same way. The ego mind is in a hurry to get somewhere, to be something, to feel better, to feel happier or to have more. The Tao te Jing says, “Nature never hurries, and everything gets accomplished”. When we can harmonize with nature and understand through natures way, there is a natural unfolding, that cannot be hurried. It happens in the right way at the right time in the way that is perfect just for you.
If you investigate into your life, you will likely find places where you are creating stress, tension and exhaustion that doesn’t need to be there. I do it all the time, and must remind myself to pace my work, to breathe into the space I want to work in, to create the environment I need to flourish in and to be kind to myself as I grow into the being. Stillness allows us to access our highest selves, our inner wisdom, where flow states arise and our work, art and life move and evolve more gracefully.
Nature reminds us to slow down and see the organic natural unfolding of everything. The terpenes in the air from the trees calm us and boosts our immune systems naturally, the green of the trees soothes us, and the sound of the wind whispering helps us to come into presence. In presence we connect to and harmonize with the energies of the earth, and the celestial skies in such a way that we can learn how to tap into the flow and ease and grace of our work, our art, our desires, our lives. Our awareness increases and our consciousness expands.
We strengthen the part of us that taps into our inner wisdom or highest self, the greater collective consciousness as Jung called it, and with the consciousness of unity. Some call this place our guides, or angels or our true self or our highest self, whatever one calls it, it is the place where we connect with our true whole self, where life flows easily and we feel guided and loved.
When we strengthen that part of us, we weaken the parts of us that toils, struggles, stresses, resists, criticizes, tries too hard and makes our lives mired in hard work. We need to experience how to breathe again, how to be kind to ourselves as we learn and grow and evolve and how to be our own kind, wise elder to our vulnerable child self. We can learn how to deeply connect with our inner wisdom, our internal treasure chest that has been safely locked away until the time is right to open.
Wu Wei is often translated as effortless action. When we approach our practices as practices of love and joy, then the action, even when rigorous, moves more and more into a state of ease and flow. It’s not immediate. Work and practice aren’t always easy, but when you accept them as acts of love they moves closer and closer towards ease. It is the Yin and Yang of effortless action. I have been practicing internal martial arts for years and it is rarely easy. In its difficulty I continually learn to relax into it, to love the challenge and to let go of the resistances as they arise—and arise they do! When I realized that there is no there to get to, the process of learning shifted.
Georgia O’Keefe, the famous painter of huge flowers, said, “It takes time to see a flower, just as it takes time to know a friend.” I would add, as it takes time and stillness to know yourself and all the greater, higher consciousness that can bring.
Take some time to be in nature to be with yourself. Not just a walk-through. Not an exercise to get your heart rate up or lose a few pounds. Not to fix yourself so you will be better, stronger, more of being more, but just to allow yourself to connect with what is around you, and to connect with what is in you. To find the ease and grace in a very busy very chaotic world. To find your centre in the storm.
In Stillness and love, Cindy Stone, M.A., R.P.
Cindy Stone is an author, psychotherapist/hypnotherapist, and Reiki Master. She is an advanced student of Baguaquan and the internal martial arts. As a psychotherapist with training in Art Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, and Ericksonian hypnotherapy, with over 25 years of experience, Cindy has been fascinated with transformational journeys and the incredible power of the mind.
Cindy will be co-hosting the upcoming Yin Yang Retreat in September. For full details click click link below.
